Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale
a tale of hell and heaven
that started from Midway Airport
aboard this 737
There was a tall blonde runner chick
and a short brunette for sure.
They were headed down to Disney World
For a race-running tour...
a race-running tour!
The Goofy Challenge was their quest
They hoped they would come through
They were going to run 13.1
The race expo was super-huge
and they wandered aimlessly
They bought t-shirts to brag about
After traveling all day they wanted some food
So they hopped on a pontoon boat
They set sail for Downtown Disney
on a 30-minute float...
a 30 minute float.
The House of Blues had yummy food
They ate and ate and ate.
But they had to wake at 2:30am,
so they couldn't stay up late.
They took a bus to the half-marathon start
It was a long and early ride
Then they walked a mile to Corral D
where they waited side-by-side.
The wheelchairs started at 5:30
then Corral A, then B and then C.
Finally it was time for "Da best" corral
to start its 13.1-mile journey...
The path was narrow, the runners were many;
They couldn't get ahead.
So they went with the flow and saved their legs
for the next day's journey of dread.
They reached the finish line intact
They still felt pretty good
They both received a Donald medal
just like they knew they would.
They spent the rest of the day at the pool
trying to relax
Then they went back to House of Blues
and carb-loaded to the max.
At 7:30 they went to bed
and fell fast asleep
But they still were quite unhappy
When the 2:30 alarm started to beep.
They donned their tutus and their Bad Axe Pigeon shirts
and headed back to Corral D
The port-a-potty lines weren't as long
So they had lots of time to pee.
The marathon began on time
They ran and ran and ran
through Epcot and Magic Kingdom
and then the pain began...
and then the pain began.
The miles got longer, their feet were sore
The sun was getting hot.
They took fun and silly photo breaks
every chance they got.
Lots of people noticed their shirts
Some asked "What's Bad Axe Pigeon?"
Other people recognized the towns
and yelled "Yeah Michigan!"
In Animal Kingdom they searched for a goat
but instead they found a sheep.
They also found a tiny owl
they really wanted to keep.
They nearly died at Mile 18
and have the picture to prove it.
At Mile 21, the green Army man
told them to "Move it! Move it!"
They hobbled as the pain grew worse
There were blisters everywhere
They dreamed of crossing the finish line
and sitting in a chair.
At Mile 26 their spirits soared
with the sounds of a gospel choir
The finish line was in sight
two more medals they would acquire!
They ran toward the finish line
shuffling with all their might
They crossed the finish victoriously
A stinky, proud, tired rainbow sight.
Two more medals they did collect
for a grand total of three
They weighed at least 2 tons apiece
They were very hard to carry!
were really rather proud
But the pain was just too intense
"Never again!" they both vowed.