Marathon Panic Attack Threat Level: Red

Um, guys?  The marathon is three days away. THREE DAYS! Do you know what this means?

CODE RED! CODE RED!!!

It means I can focus on nothing but marathon preparations: planning my marathon gear, checking marathon day weather, planning pre-marathon food, planning mid-marathon food, remembering to bring my shoes, remembering to charge my Garmin, not forgetting to set my alarm on marathon morning, cursing whatever deity decided this spring would be a great time for me to develop seasonal allergies for the first time *cough cough sniffle*, trying to get plenty of sleep, not being able to sleep due to panicking about the marathon, trying to decide whether to run with a pace group, wondering if I trained smart enough, analyzing every mile in my training log, feeling like a sloth because I am running so few miles this week, making a list of everything I need to pack, making a list of everywhere I need to be, making a list of all of my lists, and being generally obsessive.  

*takes deep, cleansing breaths*

*experiences brief moment of calm clarity*

*resumes panicking* 

CODE RED! CODE RED, PEOPLE! Out of my way! I have to pack my shoes before I forget them!!! 

*runs out of room flinging energy gels and tech socks everywhere*

Peace. Love. Train.

A Cure For Taper Madness, Part 2: The Fox Valley Marathon Races

There is so much to say about the Fox Valley Marathon Races, that I've decided to do something a little unorthodox with this race report and tell the story mostly with pictures.  Oh, there will still be plenty of words, because y'all know me - I just can't shut up.  But in the interest of not boring you all to tears, I think pictures are really the way to go with this story.  So let's start with a little backstory....

Fox Valley was a big event for several FASTies, so I was really excited to meet up with everyone in St Charles and have a fun race weekend.  It wasn't an A-race for me, since I'm in the midst of tapering for my A-race marathon, but it was an A-race for fellow FASTies Kristi and Cathy.  And it was going to be Katie's first ever half-marathon.  I texted Kristi on Saturday morning to find out when she was planning to leave for St Charles.  Her response...

(Click to enlarge)

...had me pretty worried.  We had been looking forward to this event since January!  She couldn't possibly miss it just because she wasn't "feeling the greatest".  That was not an acceptable excuse!  Fortunately, she texted again later to say she couldn't cancel her hotel reservation, so she was just going to "run it and hope for the best".  Good, because otherwise I would've had to kidnap her and drag her to St Charles myself.

I made the 2.5 hour drive up north and headed directly to packet pickup.  After I got my race packet at the small, but well-organized expo (where I was enthusiastically greeted by race officials), I headed to my hotel to check out my swag.  By the way, I was relieved to note that my hotel was only a block away from Walmart...  just in case.



Best.race.shirt.EVER.  Comfortable and slimming. I kid you not. I look 10 lbs thinner in this shirt.


Then I met up with my fellow FASTies at a carb-loading feast at Za Za Trattoria in downtown St. Charles.  This dinner was arranged by the Fox Valley Marathon organizers as an opportunity to dine with actual race officials and other runners, so we could ask questions about the event and get to know some of the people who helped make the event possible.  I'd like to give a huge thanks to Dave and Jodi, who were our race committee hosts for the evening. 


Dave and Jodi answer questions about the Fox Valley events while the rest of us stuff our faces with bread and olive oil.

 But once the food came out, I forgot all about what's-his-name and what's-her-name from the race committee, because I was too busy drooling over my wild mushroom ravioli in a light basil cream sauce.  *drool*  Believe me when I say it was some of the best carb-loading I've ever done.  I would drive 2.5 hours just to eat at this place, it was that good. 

FOOOOOD!  Oh yeah, and the FASTies are in this picture too.



*burp*  All gone!  I was sufficiently carb-loaded.


After a so-so night of sleep (you would think all those carbs would've knocked me right out, but I guess not), I got up bright (dark?) and early on Sunday morning and went through my usual race-prep routine.  Coffee - check.  Granola bar - check.  Banana - check.  Running shoes - double check!


Team FAST representin'!  Yvonne, Kristi, me, Cathy, Katie and Louisa.


Kristi, Katie and I were all running the half-marathon, so we decided to carpool together.  It took a little effort to find a parking spot, but all things considered, being parked in FREE parking just 3 blocks away from the race start/finish was a pretty good deal...  As opposed to, say, paying $25 to park a mile away from the race start *cough cough* Chicago Marathon *cough*.  We moseyed on over to the start area with about 30 minutes til race start and performed that most important and beloved of all pre-race rituals:


When you gotta go, you gotta go... before the race starts!

Notice the sun is shining in that picture. The forecast actually called for clear weather until early afternoon.  The forecast lied.  Like a dog.  As soon as we started lining up in the start corrals, it got cloudy and started drizzling.

Hey sunshine, where'd ya go?

It also got rather chilly, so I was pretty antsy to start running, just so I could get warm.  My plan was to run this "race" at goal marathon pace, as a sort of pacing exercise.

Well folks, plans change.

I started off faster than I intended simply because I was trying to get warm.  I tried to slow myself, but my legs just seemed to want to go.  So I went with it.  My first mile, at 8:50, was well below my existing half-marathon PR pace of 8:56.  I didn't know if I could hang on to that pace, given that I hadn't tapered for this race and my legs were definitely not fresh, but I felt pretty good over the first few miles, so I figured I'd give it a shot. 

Yes, I almost always smile when I run.  I'm weird like that.  And who's that right behind me?  Oh, it's Kristi-who-almost-didn't-run!


Kristi stuck pretty close behind me for about 8 miles.  Pretty impressive for someone who wasn't feeling too well the day before.  I knew what her existing PR was and I thought she had a pretty good chance of beating it, even if she fell behind me in the latter miles. 

Despite the drizzly rain that soaked us for almost the entire race, this event was simply wonderful.  The course was scenic and beautiful, running along a lot of riverside bike paths and over bridges across the Fox River.  I wouldn't call the course "flat", at least not compared with courses like the Indy Mini-Marathon, or Chicago Marathon, but it wasn't really "hilly" either.  I thought there was just enough terrain variation to keep it interesting.  The water stations were plentiful, and the volunteers...  how do I even begin to comment on the volunteers?  They were outstanding in every way.  They cheered loudly and enthusiastically for every runner by name.  I lost count of the number of times I heard "Way to go, Emily!" "Want some water, Emily?" "Emily, you're looking strong!" and other personal words of encouragement. 

These personalized cheers came in really handy in the last 3 miles, when things started getting pretty intense for me.  I had managed to hang on to my pace thus far and I knew I would PR if I just hung on a little longer.  I was well past being able to do time math in my head, so I didn't even try to calculate what my finish time would be at my current pace.  But in my mind, I was hoping to break 1:55 (my existing PR was 1:56:52).  I thought I might be  close to being able to do that.  I pushed hard in the last 3 miles, willing my tired legs to keep going.  When I rounded the final turn and saw the finish line, I kicked with all I had left.  I had the entire finish to myself; nobody else was beside or ahead of me.  I pumped my fist to get the crowd going.  They cheered for me.  I ran faster.  They cheered harder. The finish line announcer called out on the loudspeaker "Give it up for Emily from Metamora!" and I ran faster still.  It was easily the most enjoyable finish I've ever experienced; I was grinning from ear to ear.

Woo hoo!

I glanced down at my Garmin and was thrilled to see I had PR'd and made my 1:55 goal.  A very kind volunteer placed the medal around my neck, and another kind volunteer gave me a much-needed mylar blanket, and yet another kind volunteer came over to me, personally congratulated me and asked me how I was feeling.  I had never experienced such personal attention like that before.  I was astounded. 

And just a couple minutes after I finished, guess who came sailing through the finish line with a huge PR...


And to think, she almost didn't run!


Several minutes after that, Katie came down the final straightaway to finish her very first half-marathon.  PR's all around for Team FAST! 

We made our way through the finisher's area and my eyes grew as big as saucers when I saw this most glorious of post-race sights:

A veritable smorgasbord of post-race treats! Bananas, bagels, pretzels, chips, cookies... you name it - they had it.

We then found the results tent and proceeded to get printouts of our official finish times.  I was very pleased to see my finish time of 1:54:54.  It was a PR by about 2 minutes, which was really something considering I didn't taper at all for this event.  And heck, I didn't even decide to race it until I started running it!  But if not for Kristi's keen eyesight, I would've completely missed something very important.

"Wow, look at your Division place!" she gasped.

Um.  Ohmigosh.  I placed?  In a half-marathon!?  I PLACED???

I actually didn't believe it.  I thought surely someone would finish behind me with a faster chip time and I would get edged out.  It says right on the bottom of the printout that "Divisional placing is subject to change" and I was positive it would change. 

Well, it didn't change.  A few minutes later, I received the most beautiful trophy I've ever gotten.  It's etched clear glass and is exceptionally difficult to photograph, but that didn't stop me from whipping it out for our group finisher's photo.



Drenched, freezing and happy!  And ooooo, look at that shiny trophy!


If not for the fact that it is made of breakable glass, I would carry this trophy with me everywhere and show it to anyone who seems remotely interested.  And also probably to anyone who doesn't give a crap. It was a completely unexpected, incredibly wonderful way to cap off a great race. 

By this time, we were drenched with rain and freezing, so we headed back to the hotel to get dried off and warmed up.  Then it was back to the race finish line to watch the marathon finishers come in.  Fellow FASTie Cathy had been training hard for this marathon, and I had a feeling she was going to do very well. 

Why didn't I think to bring one of these umbrella things while I was running?

As we were standing around at the finish line, I happened to pull my phone out of my pocket and saw that I had just gotten a voice mail from Cathy.  I panicked!  Had she gotten hurt?  Was she not running well?  It turned out she had just called to tell me she was at Mile 25.  I glanced at the race clock.  She was on target for a serious marathon PR.  I relayed the good news to Kristi and Katie, and we staked out a spot at the finish where we would be able to see Cathy running in. 

Then I got another phone call from Cathy.  I panicked again!  Turns out she had butt-dialed me.  So all I could hear was the sound of her running and breathing.  I took that as a good sign and hung up.  (As a side note, I figure it's only a matter of time before I butt-dial someone while running. I apologize in advance.)

A few minutes later, there she was coming down the final stretch.  She looked strong.  And very emotional.  She knew she was about to PR.  I felt a little misty-eyed myself, I was just so proud of her, and of all my fellow FASTies.  Cathy took 10 minutes off her previous PR! 



The face of a serious marathoner.


How do you celebrate so many victories in one day?  With delicious food, of course!  After Cathy got dried off and changed, we found a neat restaurant called Prasino and proceeded to have a delicious post-race feast. 

My pizza.  MY pizza.  Yes, I ate the whole thing.  No, I don't feel guilty.

After that, it was time for us all to go our separate ways and head back home.  As I tried to keep myself awake on the drive back, I thought about what a great day it had been for all of us, and how the rain didn't spoil any of our parades. 

We all agreed we wanted to run this event again next year.  It was so well-organized, so personal, so affordable and so scenic, that I can't imagine ever doing another huge marathon.  So I guess it's a good thing my upcoming marathon is also a smaller event.

Oh crap.

I have an upcoming marathon! 

It's only a week and a half away!  I haven't picked out my race clothes, or packed my bag, or shined my running shoes, or anything! *begin panic attack*

Well, so much for being cured of taper madness... 

Peace. Love. Train.

A Cure for Taper Madness, Part 1: The Pumpkin Classic

Taper time is upon us, and we all know what that means.  That's right: the madness is rearing its ugly head.  As marathon day gets closer, and my runs get shorter, I find myself growing increasingly uneasy.  "Uneasy" is probably too nice a word.  "Irrational" and "obsessive" might be more accurate descriptive terms.  But I may have discovered a possible cure for taper madness.  Well, maybe it's not so much a cure as it is a diversion tactic.  It simply involves running lots of races.

Those of you who read this blog regularly know that one of my personal mottos is "Why run just one race in a weekend when you can run two (or more)?"  So this past weekend my plan was to run both the Morton Pumpkin Classic 10k on Saturday, and the Fox Valley Half-Marathon on Sunday, as well-organized training runs.  No racing, no pressure. 

I hadn't run the Pumpkin Classic since 2008, so I was fairly certain I could PR without running a hard effort (I have run only one other 10k race since 2008, and I didn't race that one either).  My good friends Becky and Mike were also planning to run it for fun, so we decided to all run together.  After picking up my race packet (which included a long-sleeved cotton t-shirt), and attaching my bib and timing chip, I lined up with my friends by the 9:00-12:00 / mile pace sign.  I figured since the race was chip timed and we weren't planning to race, it wasn't important to be near the front.  Too bad I didn't realize they didn't have a timing mat at the start of the race.  Good thing I wasn't actually racing this race, or I would've been a bit upset about that.

I was shooting for a 9:00 - 9:30 pace for this "race", which was comfortable given the nice cool weather.  The three of us stuck together for the first 5 miles, running and chatting and enjoying the course entertainment (there were several bands playing along the course).  But in the last mile, Mike started picking up the pace, and I followed suit.  Becky (wisely) didn't want to play our silly race game, so she let us go on ahead.  After Mike kicked my butt in the 5k race last weekend though, I didn't want to get beat again.  He sped up a little.  I sped up a little.  He sped up a bit more.  I sped up a bit more.  We came around the final turn and the finish line was in sight, so I sped up a lot.  I thought I had lost him and I was going to cruise into the finish, but then he caught back up to me and we kept running faster and faster. By the time we got to the finish line, we were doing about a  5:30 pace and I was yelling "Dammit, Mike, slow down!!!" 

He did not slow down. 

Nor did I.

Mikey got chicked! (by choice)

Mike let me beat him.  Barely.  But he let it happen.  I am pretty sure he could out-sprint me with both his hands tied behind his back, so yeah, he totally let me win.  Even though we have the same time in the official results, my result is listed first, which means I WON.  HA!  *sticking tongue out at Mike*  Not that I'm competitive or anything.

Oh, and incidentally, it did end up being a 10k PR for me, although I hesitate to really call it a PR, since I have run faster-paced half-marathons than this.  But, in a strictly technical sense, it was a PR for the 10k race distance.  It was also a PR for Mike since it was his first 10k ever. Go us!

Mike and I collected our medals ("oooo, shiny!"), met up with Mike's wife and her friend (who had both done the 2 mile walk event) and enjoyed the post-race "feast" of bananas, granola bars and orange slices.  It wasn't really much of a feast if you ask me.  Uhhh, hello?  This is supposed to be the pumpkin festival!  Where's my post-race pumpkin pie???

Loser on the left, winner on the right. 
Of course, if Mike reads this, I don't think he'll ever let me win ever again...  

All things considered, this was just an okay event.  The course was fairly flat and fast, so for anyone wanting to really race a 10k, I think this is a good one.  But the lack of chip timing at the race start is annoying.  Also, the age groups in this race are 15 years, which meant that I was competeing against 20-year-olds.  How completely and utterly ridiculous.  In an event with this many runners, there should be standard 5-yeard age groupings. I was also irritated by the long line for post-race refreshments.  One line for 1500 runners and walkers?  Not cool.  I did, however, enjoy the course entertainment, especially the band playing Beatles songs.  And the finisher's medals are pretty nice too.

With a few small tweaks, this could be a really great event.  I would sign up for next year's race right this minute if I was promised free pumpkin pie at the finish.  True story.

Now if you want to hear about a truly first-class event, stay tuned for Part 2 of this weekend race report...

Peace. Love. Train.

Too Busy for Madness? Never!

I don't know if you all remember, but I have a marathon coming up. You know, that whole crazy indoor marathon thing where 160 people run around in circles for a few hours? Yeah, it's this weekend. Five days from today. That's alarmingly soon, and yet, I do not feel alarmed. I probably should feel alarmed. I don't consider myself a good enough runner to not feel alarmed before attempting to run 26.2 miles. But the fact is, I've just been so busy with work and getting my personal trainer certification (that's a blog post for another day) and putting together a Hood To Coast relay team (also another blog post for another day), that I haven't had time to feel alarmed.

I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing. I mean, maybe it's good that I'm not driving myself bonkers with thoughts of "what if...", or imagining injuries that aren't really there. On the other hand, a healthy dose of fear before a big race can make for a stronger performance. I should at least be a little worried about this marathon. No, I don't care that much about my time. And yes, I am doing this primarily for fun. (I sense that many of you are questioning my definition of fun. Rest assured, your concerns are valid.) But 26.2 miles is a long way whether you care about your finish time or not, and a lot can still go wrong. The last time I tried to run 26.2 miles, it didn't go at all like I planned. Given that miserable experience, shouldn't I be quaking in my Nikes with anxiety for this upcoming race?

Well, chances are, I will be before Sunday rolls around. Part of the problem is that this marathon still seems surreal to me. I mean, I haven't even calculated my target lap splits yet! And I haven't assembled my fueling supplies, packed my pre-run breakfast, or decided on my running outfit. For the love of Pete, I HAVEN'T EVEN RESEARCHED RESTAURANTS FOR MY PRE-MARATHON CARB-LOADING FEAST!!! *collective gasp from audience*

Suddenly, I feel alarmed. How could I have let all these things slide until the very last minute? Clearly, there is much to be done, and so little time left to do it. So why the hell am I sitting here typing up blog posts for you people when I should be on Yelp researching pasta restaurants in the Greater Milwaukee area, and whipping out my calculator to figure out my lap splits, and trying on different running outfits until I find the perfect one???

*flings papers and running clothes and bags of sport beans around wildly*

Out of my way, people! I'm on a mission of madness!!!

Peace. Love. Train.

It's the most wonderful time of marathon training!

Everybody sing with me!

It's the most wonderful time of marathon training!
With the toe blisters healing
and leg muscles feeling
hardly any straining,
It's the most wonderful time of marathon training!

It's the hap-happiest three weeks of all!
I can sleep in on Sundays
and enjoy my long run days
without hitting the wall!
It's the hap-happiest three weeks of all!!!!

Yes, indeedy, folks! It's that most wonderful time of marathon training: TAPER TIME! I'm happy about it now because this is the first week of it. I know I'll probably start to go mad in a week or so... but it's good to enjoy the taper while I still have my sanity.

Coach Brad has given Kristi and me quite a reprieve already, and for that we are thankful. You should see the workout the regular Black Group members had to do last night! Allow me to show you:

1 mile warm-up
3 x 2 miles with 5 minutes rest between
1 mile cooldown

Now, I'm no mathematician (or mathmagician, as fellow FASTie, Jose says), but that looks like it adds up to 8 miles. EIGHT MILES! If I had been expected to do that workout, I would have been there until midnight trying to get all that done.

Fortunately, Kristi and I got a special workout designed just for us. See?



We were doing the Happy Taper Dance of Joy (yes, that's a real dance!) that we didn't have to do the Black Group workout. Instead, our workout ended up being just shy of 6 miles and it was a plenty good workout, thankyouverymuch. As you can see, we had some ab work thrown in there as well, and Coach Maggie didn't give us any breaks on that. Apparently tapering does not extend to core work. Hmph!

In order to thank Coach Brad for his kindness and generosity in allowing us to taper, Kristi and I would like to present him with a token of our appreciation:


Coach Maggie still made us do the same crazy dynamic warm-up and core work as everyone else, so she does not get any Rolos. Sorry, Maggie! But it's not too late to redeem yourself - we still have two more weeks of taper left! *waves Rolos under Maggie's nose*

Peace. Love. Train.

Taper Week 3: The Madness In Pictures

"OMG Yay! The marathon is less than 4 days away! I love running marathons! I feel great! I could run forever!"

"I wonder if I'll PR. Or break 5 hours. Or break a world record! Maybe I'll get to meet Joan Benoit Samuelson. Or Dean Karnazes. Or the editors of Runner's World Magazine!!! That Mark Remy just cracks me up!"

"Huh. Did I say less than four days? That's really soon..."

"I think I feel a twinge in my hamstring. What if it doesn't go away in four days? And my hips feel really tight. And I can't seem to remember where I put my lucky socks. I need my lucky socks!"

"WHAT IF I COMPLETELY LOSE THE ABILITY TO RUN??? WHAT IF I NEVER FIND MY LUCKY SOCKS???"

"*sob sob* I can't run 26 miles four days from now! My hamstrings are falling off and I don't have any socks!"

*runs away cackling wildly in a quest for the lucky socks*

Peace. Love. Train.

Taper Week 2: The madness begins...

Ahhh.... taper sweet taper...

Finally, I have been given some reprieve in my training. The mileage has dropped. The intensity has decreased a little bit. Rest time between intervals has increased. Frankly, it feels wonderful.

The problem is that I have way too much time on my hands now. Instead of using this extra time for good, productive, useful things like tending the garden, or cleaning out the basement, or alphabetizing my canned goods, I've taken up less desirable pastimes such as buying way too many running shoes, and completely freaking out about my ability to run this marathon.

Yes, my friends, it has officially begun...

*begin echo-y voice* Taper Madness *end echo-y voice*

I know what you're thinking... Just how many shoes are we talking here?

Well, I've added two new pairs of running shoes to my arsenal in the last couple of weeks, including one pair of custom NikeID Lunarglides. These are the shoes I intend to wear for the marathon.



Aren't they beeeeeeeeautiful? For those not in the know, my friends call me Evily, thus the RUN EVILY personalization. There is, naturally, a long story behind that moniker, but we'll save that for another time and place. The point is, these shoes have marathon awesomeness written all over them. Not literally, of course, because "Marathon Awesomeness" doesn't fit within the 10 character maximum... but you know what I mean.

So how many pairs of running shoes does that make now, you ask? Um... a fair few... *looks sheepish*


*ahem* Please stop gaping, everyone.

In my defense, the pair in the back left corner was just retired from use last weekend, as it just hit 400 miles. Also in my defense, I got a really good sale price on several of these. And also in my defense, I tried on a pair of new Nike LunarEclipses yesterday and despite the fact that I loved them, I did not buy them. I do have some self-control, people! Geesh.

I think buying new shoes and taking inventory of my running shoe collection helps take my mind off of the more serious aspects of marathon tapering. Namely: the looming marathon. It's only nine days away now. NINE DAYS, PEOPLE!!! Do you have any idea what this means???

Um... well... it pretty much just means that the marathon is nine days away. But this is an extremely dire situation! I can't run a marathon in nine days! I haven't packed my gym bag yet! I haven't memorized the locations of the aid stations along the course! I haven't charged my Garmin! I haven't prepared my bag of Sharkies! I haven't polished the Nike swooshes on my shoes! I CANNOT POSSIBLY RUN 26.2 MILES NINE DAYS FROM NOW!!!

I don't think you all understand the gravity of the situation. Do you have any idea what 26.2 miles looks like? For those of you who do not, allow me to show you. This is the Chicago Marathon course in its entirety (you might want to sit down for this):




Now do you understand? I mean, sure, the video makes it look easy because it only takes 9 minutes from start to finish. It will take me roughly 33 times longer than that to run it!

Okay, let me get a show of hands: Who just got out their calculator and figured out how long that is?

Nerds. :-P

But I digress.... The point is, I have reached the point in Taper Madness where I spend a lot of time freaking out. I'm not sure I'll even remember how to run when I get to the starting line. I keep going through a million different "what if" scenarios in my mind. What if the weather stinks? What if it's really windy? What if I trip and fall? What if I have to stop and use the port-o-potties? What if I run out of Sharkies? What if my Garmin dies? What if I forget to set my alarm that morning? What if I show up on the wrong day? What if I forget to bring my oatmeal and banana? What if my Nike swooshes aren't shiny enough?

There are so many things to worry about. And now that I'm tapering, I have so much more time to worry about them! Nine more days of this could drive me to the brink of insanity. I'll be running 26.2 miles straight to the loony bin. I think there's only one thing that will help me through a crisis like this...

Who wants to go shopping for new running shoes with me???

Peace. Love. Train.

Taper Week 1: This is hardly a taper!

So this week begins my three-week taper before the Chicago Marathon. Tapering consists of an overall reduction in training mileage and intensity in the weeks preceding a big race, allowing the body to recover from the stresses induced by months of hard training, so that the body is fresh for race day. My FAST coaches, however, did not get the memo about this.

Lemme tell you what those slave-drivers made me do this week.

On Tuesday, they made me run this crazy modified version of "The FAST", where I had to run 2 miles hard, then go immediately up the Hill of Death, followed by 1 mile hard. And if that wasn't enough, on Thursday, they made me run 1-mile repeats in a dark and scary cemetery and there were bats flying around and owls hooting and zombies trying to attack me! ZOMBIES!!!

Okay, so I'm lying about the zombies. But the owls and bats were there, I swear! And the moon was full, so there were probably werewolves hiding in the trees. I think I did hear some howling...

But bats and zombies and werewolves aside... If this is a taper, why does it feel so untaperlike??? The coaches are trying to kill me!

And can we talk about my toenail?

*everyone shouts "NOOOOOOOO!" in unison*

Too bad - we're going to talk about it anyway. I made it through all of my marathon training without any weird toenail issues to speak of. But on an easy 5 mile run this week, I came home with a sore 2nd toe. Weird. And after last night's FAST workout, that toe is now clearly destined to lose its nail. Are you kidding me? How is it that I can run 22 miles straight with no problems, but as soon as I start my taper, all my toenails start falling off? Okay, so it's just the one toenail, but still!

Now, who here wants to see pictures of my wonky toenail?

*crickets chirping*

Fine, suit yourselves.

Tough workouts and damaged toenails aside, I must say I am very much looking forward to my relatively short long run this weekend. Twelve miles will seem like a veritable breeze compared with last Sunday's 22 hill-tacular miles. However, as my mileage continues to decrease these next two weeks, it is inevitable that I will once again enter a state of Taper Madness. My blog posts will probably start to make less sense, and will likely be punctuated with random outbursts of virtual cackling. I assure you it's all part of a normal taper.

*cackles wildly* BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Seriously. It's normal.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

Peace. Love. Train.

Double Trouble on Harmonious Hump Day

For some people, it's enough to just run a marathon. For other people, it's enough to just run a 5k. For me, neither is enough. And so this weekend I'm doing both.

Now wait. Before you wander away muttering to yourself about "freakin' crazy runners", let me explain myself! There is a method to my madness and logic to my loco. My marathon is on Sunday. I'm going to need to go for a short (3-ish miles), easy run on Saturday in order to loosen things up and get the blood flowing. Well, as it turns out, Flying Pig Weekend includes a 5k race on Saturday morning. Perfect! Even better, my good friend, Michele, will be running said 5k, so I will get to run with her. And best of all, my two other friends and my husband have also agreed to run the 5k (in addition to the other races they're already running). Does anyone have any suggestions for what we could call our 5k crew? We definitely need a name.

And in case anyone is wondering, yes, 5k finishers get a medal. So it's conceivable that I will come away from this weekend with three new medals - the 5k, the Pump N Run, and the Marathon.

And in case anyone is wondering, yes, this means I'll have to add more running gear to my packing list.

**********************************

It occurred to me last night that I completely forgot about Tuesday Tunes. DOH! So, how about Harmonious Hump Day this week? Ready? Let's begin! *sets Running playlist to shuffle*

#1 Three Doors, VAST - one of many great running tunes by VAST.



#2 Girl In The Fire, Pendulum - there's a LOT of Pendulum stuff on my Running playlist, but there's a good reason: the bpm of a lot of their songs almost exactly matches my run cadence.



#3 The Nosebleed Section, Hilltop Hoods - I bet most of you have never heard Australian hip-hop before. It's actually pretty good! This is one of my favorites - very catchy and upbeat.



So there you have it, the second installment of Tuesday Tunes, on Wednesday!

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Moving on to other news... last night was FAST, and the workout was basically the same as last Tuesday, but instead of doing 3 x 1000m repeats, I only had to do 2 x 1000m repeats. I felt good and it was a nice, short run. Afterward, I did a few strides with some of my teammates, to open up my legs and work on my form. Coach Brad asked if any of us were getting nervous, and several people giggled... well... nervously. So I guess that answers that question.

But I think Coach Brad is getting a little nervous himself, as he is also running a marathon this weekend. He ran past me during the warmup yelling "Oh my god, the marathon is this weekend!" And then he refused to do the backward lunges in the dynamic warmup, for fear of injuring himself. (And to be fair, the backward lunges were kind of scary, especially on that uneven pavement) He won't tell us his time goal for the marathon. Although he did mention something about "under 3 hours". Huh. Funny. That's usually my goal for a HALF marathon. (Okay, okay, I'm exaggerating slightly)

It's interesting to note that several of my FAST teammates have big races this weekend. Most of them (my coach included) are running the Illinois Marathon in Champaign. I've heard that's a great marathon, but the fact that it finishes on the University of Illinois football field automatically precludes me from ever running it. As a Purdue alumni, I'm pretty sure they would throw tomatoes at me. Which would be okay, because I would throw them right back. But I digress... I want to wish each and every one of my FAST teammates the best of luck in their races this weekend - Kick some asphalt!

Peace. Love. Train.

Marathon Week Madness

Well, folks, it's finally here. Marathon week. If you look over there ----> at the countdown clock, you'll see that it's less than 5 days now. At this moment, 5 days from now, I will be done with my marathon (if all goes well, that is).

Remember my discussion on Taper Madness? Well, Marathon Week Madness is a subset of Taper Madness - a more acute, more panicky, crazier subset of Taper Madness. See, I'm still tapering. But instead of thinking about my random aches and pains, and wondering if I'm losing my ability to run long distances, I find myself thinking, instead, about race preparation, and what-if scenarios. "Oh that's a good thing! It's good to be prepared," you say. Ha! It's one thing to be prepared. It's another thing entirely to be obsessive.

The first element of Marathon Week Madness is the packing list. There's nothing unusual about making a packing list before going on a trip, right? But what if said list looks like this:

Running Gear

1. CW-X Shorts
2. CW-X Capris
3. CW-X Long tights
   
4. Runner's World Challenge short-sleeve shirt
5. Pink Nike sleeveless shirt
6. Purple Adidas tank top
   
7. Black arm sleeves
8. Injinji rainbow toe socks
9. Under Armour socks
10. Green Nike shoes
11. Grey Nike shoes
12. Large amphipod (fanny pack)
13. Small amphipod
14. Road ID necklace
    
15. Garmin watch
16. iPod armband
17. Earbuds
18. Under Armour black sports bra
19. Nike white sports bra
20. black headband
21. pink headband
22. Adidas windbreaker
23. sunglasses
24. Sharkies
25. Bonk Breaker bars
26. Oatmeal, cinnamon, raisins, bananas, and green tea bags
    
27. Lucky Harry Potter mug

Non-running stuff

1. Clothes
2. Toiletries

Might I mention that we'll be in Cincinnati for a whole weekend. I will be running for less than 10% of the total time we'll be there. And yet nearly 95% of my packing list is extremely detailed running-related gear. Well, in my defense, all the experts say you need to show up to the marathon prepared for all possible conditions!

And speaking of race conditions... that brings us to Marathon Week Madness element #2. The weather. Despite all of my best attempts, I cannot control the weather. Indeed, it seems as race day approaches, the weather controls me. I have been checking the extended forecast since late last week. It is not good. Not good at all. The entire weekend will be cloudy and rainy. Which, by itself, is not bad. In fact, that's decent marathon-running weather (as long as it doesn't rain hard). But for Sunday, race day, the forecast calls for thunderstorms. As we all learned in grade school, thunder is caused by lightning. And as we all learned in race director school, lightning equals a canceled race. My number one fear for this race is not that I won't be able to finish the distance. It's that's I won't even get the chance to finish the distance.

It is a rare occasion for a marathon to be canceled. But it does happen. Just last weekend the Nashville Country Music Marathon was ended early due to severe weather. Over half of the people who showed up to run the full marathon were unable to finish the distance, and were diverted to either the half-marathon course, or a 20 mile course. For anyone who poured their heart and soul into 4+ months of training and was told they couldn't finish, it must have been simply devastating. But I guess it's better to not finish a race than it is to get struck by lightning. Marginally. Maybe. Frankly, I think I'd be willing to take my chances with the lightning. I just hope Mother Nature cuts us a little slack this weekend so that I don't have to bust out my mad lightning-dodging skills. If the weather does cause race-day difficulties, I guess I can drown my sorrows in a Graeter's brownie sundae.

Which brings us to the final element of Marathon Week Madness: food. I think about food a lot under normal circumstances. But during marathon week, I must plan my food with great precision. When we get to Cincinnati, I will know where we are eating, what I am ordering, and when we are eating for pretty much every meal. Obsessive? Maybe. But food is fuel and I intend to fuel up on high-octane stuff before my race. I have mapped out all the restaurants and how to get to them from the hotel. I have looked at menus online to decide what I will be ordering. And perhaps most importantly, I have decided what indulgent and delicious meal to have for the post-race victory dinner. That particular meal is not about high-octane fuel, but about gluttony, pure and simple. After all, it wouldn't be a Flying Pig marathon without an appropriate post-race pig out. *oink oink*

But I can't really think about the post-race meal just yet, because I have a bunch more stuff I still need to add to the Running Gear section of my packing list....

Peace. Love. Train.

Bishop Hill x 2!!!

That's how I celebrated my last long run of this training cycle. By running Bishop hill twice. Yes, I may be a little crazy in the head. But Bishop hill has become a good friend to me during these 5 months of training. Constant. Challenging. Always steep. And yet, in a strange way, always welcoming.

Early on in my training, I had to walk up Bishop hill, because attempting to run it would rob me of precious energy I needed to finish the rest of my run. But as my training progressed, I grew stronger and being able to conquer Bishop hill and still be able to finish the rest of my run strong became the mark of a truly good long run. So what better way to celebrate the ending of a successful training program than with two runs up Bishop hill?

The training schedule called for a 2-hour run today. No set mileage. Simply run for time. Knowing my typical pace, I knew this would be about 10 miles for me. So my game plan was to run Grandview/Bishop twice (4 miles each), and then run up Prospect and back until I got to two hours. As soon as I got out of my car at the Tower, I knew I had overdressed (it's not the first time I'd done this - you'd think I would've learned by now). It wasn't hot, but it was very humid and sticky. My CW-X capris were fine, but my long-sleeved shirt was much too heavy for the occasion. I couldn't really do anything about it, so I pushed up my long sleeves and made the best of it.

The humidity did get to be a bit bothersome, but overall it was a good run. The rain held off, which was a blessing. (I may not be so lucky for my actual marathon, as the forecast is calling for thunderstorms on race day - let's hope that changes!) I conquered Bishop hill with just as much force on the second round as I did on the first. I maintained a pretty good pace (well, for me, at least) and actually managed to complete 10.66 miles in the allotted two hours.


So, my next long run will be the actual marathon. This is both exciting and terrifying. Even though I know I've followed the plan, and I've put in all the hard work, and theoretically, I should be ready for it... well, I still can't help but feel nervous and uncertain. I guess I won't really be sure until I cross that finish line. But getting to the starting line is 95% of the battle. And neither rain, nor sleet, nor snow will keep me from getting to the starting line. Now, lightning and tornadoes are another matter...

Peace. Love. Train.

Taper Madness

Tapering is making me crazy. I mean stick-me-in-a-straight-jacket-and-lock-me-in-a-padded-room crrrrrrazy. And word on the street (and by "the street", I mean the street with all the runners on it) is that it's perfectly normal to go crazy during a marathon taper. This makes me feel only marginally better.

I am convinced my entire body is injured. Things that never hurt during the entire five months of my training are now hurting and it must be because I've strained every muscle and have a stress fracture in every bone in my body. There's no other explanation. Well, there's the explanation that my body is repairing itself and that this repair process often leads to phantom pains. But that can't possibly be the case for me. It would be just my luck that I've strained all of my leg muscles.

I am convinced I've lost all of my endurance. All of it. It has been almost two weeks since my longest long run, and since then, all of my runs have gotten shorter. Therefore, I cannot possibly run 26 miles a week from now. My endurance is surely gone. I will get through the first seven miles of the marathon and then fall over in exhaustion. The sag wagon (the van that goes at the slowest allowed pace for the race and picks up anyone going slower than that) will have to scoop me up off the road and drive me to the finish line. Of course, there are "experts" who say that you don't lose any endurance during the taper. They say that there's no benefit to continuing super-long long runs during the taper, because it won't help your endurance, and you will only exhaust yourself before the big race. Ha! What do they know?

I'm also convinced I've turned into a slug. As all of my runs have gotten shorter (even the short ones), I am pretty sure that my speed (and I use the term "speed" loosely here) has disappeared completely. I'm sure I will arrive at the marathon starting line and be unable to run any faster than a 15:45 pace. Which I suppose would be acceptable from an avoiding-the-sag-wagon perspective, since the cutoff pace is 16:00. But it's not the 12:30 pace I'm hoping to run. (That's what I mean about using the term "speed" loosely - let's face it, my goal pace is, well, not very speedy)

I suppose it won't be long before I start having nightmares about getting to the marathon starting line and then running the WRONG WAY. That would be exceptionally bad for keeping pace. Or how about the dream where I'm late for the race start? Or the one where I show up naked? Or, the mother of all marathon nightmares (aka, nightmarathons), the one where I show up late for the start, buck naked, and then proceed to run the wrong way!


It's a good thing I have FAST to keep me sane. Barely. Since so many of our group are in the midst of tapering right now, we are all going through similar things. We are all feeling nervous, doubtful, hopeful, excited, achy, sleepy, hungry, sneezy, bashful, dopey and... no, wait... I've started naming dwarves... We are all going a little crazy. But our coaches are reassuring. It's normal, they say. We'll all be fine, they say. And then they take our minds off of our worries with an insane hill workout.

Lucky me (and everyone else who is tapering right now) - we only had to run up the Hill Of Death once last night. We then proceeded to run about 2 miles with some pickups thrown in (at about 10k pace). It was a good short workout to get the legs moving and the blood pumping. Then Coach Bekah led us through a great core-strengthening routine. Thanks to Bekah's kick-ass core workouts, I have an awesome six-pack. You can't see it because it's under an inch of flab. But I assure you, it's there!


This weekend, I have my shortest long run in a very long time - only 2 hours (about 10 miles at my pace). I should probably enjoy the short run, and the fact that I won't be tired for the rest of the day. But I'll probably just keep thinking about how everything hurts, I'm losing my endurance, and I'm turning into a slug. Ahhh, the joys of Taper Madness.

Peace. Love. Train.

We can pee really fast

"Runners are a different breed. We swear, but it's not dirty. We spit, but it's clean. We puke, but it's necessary... And we can pee really fast." -Louisa Blanchard (aka Cool Aunt Louisa), fellow FAST teammate

These are the sorts of deep thoughts we discuss during our FAST group runs. I had the distinct privilege of running with Cool Aunt Louisa last night and we had a lot of great conversation about the sport of running, including the above discourse.

It started on the first lap of our 1000m repeats. I passed Louisa in the first half. Then, as I kept running, I realized that her footsteps weren't getting any farther behind me. She was keeping up. So I sped up a little bit. And she sped up a little bit. And I sped up a little more. And she sped up a little more. As we finished the first repeat, she told me "Wow, you really pushed me!" When we started our second repeat, we ran together, but this time Louisa set the pace, and it was faster than the first repeat. So at the end of that repeat, I was the one who said "Wow, you really pushed me!" We ended up running three repeats together (and then I did one more by myself), and I think we both ran a little faster than we would have run alone. That's the power of the running family. There are a LOT of things I do at FAST group runs that I would likely never do on my own. I suspect that's the case with several of my teammates as well - which is why so many of us have become dramatically stronger runners since joining FAST.

What was particularly interesting last night was a discussion between Louisa, Becky and me. I think Louisa started it first by telling Becky and me that we were here running heroes (or something along that line). And then I pointed out that, no, I couldn't be their hero because they were both my heroes! I mean, Louisa, who is 60 years old and achieving marathon PR's, and Becky, who is a faster runner than I will ever be are both people who inspire me. And then Becky goes on to say that she admires me and Louisa. Well, as you can see, it's just a huge circle of inspiration and admiration and, yes, perspiration (after all, we were running while having this conversation). I have a hard time imagining anyone looking to me as an inspiration in the sport of running. I'm not particularly gifted in the sport. I have great endurance, but only at tortoise-like speeds. Maybe I'm inspirational because of the fact that I run despite my lack of natural talent. All I know is I admire every single member of FAST - they are all my heroes. They are also my extended family - my sisters, brothers, aunts and uncles.

Because we are so close, we can talk about everything. I mean everything. For example, last night, one of our teammates had to take a potty break during one of the 1000m repeats. She was about 20m ahead of Louisa and me when she veered off to the port-a-potty. When I finished my 1000m repeat, she was right behind me. Louisa was quick to notice this. "Wow, you peed really fast!" she said. And that's when we started discussing speed-peeing techniques for race day.

Women are notorious for taking a long time in the bathroom. Women runners, however, can pee with great haste. We have perfected the art of the 20 second port-a-potty stop, because any longer than that can cost us precious time when we're shooting for a race PR. Even when our shorts have pesky drawstrings to untie, we can get in and out of the port-a-potty in record time. Yes, runners truly are a different breed.

Getting back to the actual workout... We had a 1 mile warmup, followed by 4 x 1000m repeats at half-marathon pace, and a 1 mile cooldown. Well, that was the workout for people who are tapering right now (which is most of us). As I started my 3rd repeat, I accidentally hit the Stop button on my Garmin instead of hitting the Lap button, so you'll notice I'm missing a repeat in my data (the other three are highlighted in blue). It wasn't an extraordinarily difficult workout - it was more difficult to hold back and not run at, say, 5k pace. But this is the taper, when the body repairs itself so it's fresh for marathon day, so it's important to not push too hard in workouts. I admit, I ran a wee bit faster than half-marathon pace, thanks to Cool Aunt Louisa. But considering all the conversation we were having, we couldn't have been running that hard. Right, Coach Brad?


Peace. Love. Train.

Tuesday Tunes!

Let's start a new tradition here on SweatLikeAPig. Every Tuesday, I will randomly select three songs from the Running playlist on my iPod to share with you all. Why start now, with less than two weeks until the Big Race? Well, because I'm tapering, and tapering = not a whole lot else to talk about. But that doesn't mean I won't continue the tradition after the big race. After all, I've got the Chicago Marathon to train for after this one. So let's make it a new tradition.

Warning: I have some weird stuff on my Running playlist. Just giving y'all a heads up. Okay, ready? Here we go! *puts Running playlist on shuffle*

In A State, U.N.K.L.E. - The driving beat starts around 1:45... wait for it.




Spiral, Pendulum - Pendulum are a Drum & Bass group from Perth, Western Australia - this was their first single. Best enjoyed with the bass cranked up.



Too Much Food, Jason Mraz - A fun, upbeat song that is as much fun to sing along with as it is to listen to. Not while running, though.



So there you have it, folks. Tuesday Tunes! Come back next Tuesday for more funky music. And maybe a little bit of Funky Chicken. *flaps arms* Okay, maybe not.

Peace. Love. Train.