Friday, October 1, 2010

Taper Week 2: The madness begins...

Ahhh.... taper sweet taper...

Finally, I have been given some reprieve in my training. The mileage has dropped. The intensity has decreased a little bit. Rest time between intervals has increased. Frankly, it feels wonderful.

The problem is that I have way too much time on my hands now. Instead of using this extra time for good, productive, useful things like tending the garden, or cleaning out the basement, or alphabetizing my canned goods, I've taken up less desirable pastimes such as buying way too many running shoes, and completely freaking out about my ability to run this marathon.

Yes, my friends, it has officially begun...

*begin echo-y voice* Taper Madness *end echo-y voice*

I know what you're thinking... Just how many shoes are we talking here?

Well, I've added two new pairs of running shoes to my arsenal in the last couple of weeks, including one pair of custom NikeID Lunarglides. These are the shoes I intend to wear for the marathon.

Aren't they beeeeeeeeautiful? For those not in the know, my friends call me Evily, thus the RUN EVILY personalization. There is, naturally, a long story behind that moniker, but we'll save that for another time and place. The point is, these shoes have marathon awesomeness written all over them. Not literally, of course, because "Marathon Awesomeness" doesn't fit within the 10 character maximum... but you know what I mean.

So how many pairs of running shoes does that make now, you ask? Um... a fair few... *looks sheepish*

*ahem* Please stop gaping, everyone.

In my defense, the pair in the back left corner was just retired from use last weekend, as it just hit 400 miles. Also in my defense, I got a really good sale price on several of these. And also in my defense, I tried on a pair of new Nike LunarEclipses yesterday and despite the fact that I loved them, I did not buy them. I do have some self-control, people! Geesh.

I think buying new shoes and taking inventory of my running shoe collection helps take my mind off of the more serious aspects of marathon tapering. Namely: the looming marathon. It's only nine days away now. NINE DAYS, PEOPLE!!! Do you have any idea what this means???

Um... well... it pretty much just means that the marathon is nine days away. But this is an extremely dire situation! I can't run a marathon in nine days! I haven't packed my gym bag yet! I haven't memorized the locations of the aid stations along the course! I haven't charged my Garmin! I haven't prepared my bag of Sharkies! I haven't polished the Nike swooshes on my shoes! I CANNOT POSSIBLY RUN 26.2 MILES NINE DAYS FROM NOW!!!

I don't think you all understand the gravity of the situation. Do you have any idea what 26.2 miles looks like? For those of you who do not, allow me to show you. This is the Chicago Marathon course in its entirety (you might want to sit down for this):

Now do you understand? I mean, sure, the video makes it look easy because it only takes 9 minutes from start to finish. It will take me roughly 33 times longer than that to run it!

Okay, let me get a show of hands: Who just got out their calculator and figured out how long that is?

Nerds. :-P

But I digress.... The point is, I have reached the point in Taper Madness where I spend a lot of time freaking out. I'm not sure I'll even remember how to run when I get to the starting line. I keep going through a million different "what if" scenarios in my mind. What if the weather stinks? What if it's really windy? What if I trip and fall? What if I have to stop and use the port-o-potties? What if I run out of Sharkies? What if my Garmin dies? What if I forget to set my alarm that morning? What if I show up on the wrong day? What if I forget to bring my oatmeal and banana? What if my Nike swooshes aren't shiny enough?

There are so many things to worry about. And now that I'm tapering, I have so much more time to worry about them! Nine more days of this could drive me to the brink of insanity. I'll be running 26.2 miles straight to the loony bin. I think there's only one thing that will help me through a crisis like this...

Who wants to go shopping for new running shoes with me???

Peace. Love. Train.

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