The Frozen Turkey 5k: Freezing my tail-feathers off!

I should've known that any race with the word "frozen" in the name would not agree with this heat-seeking runner chick.  But, when my coworker and running buddy, Mike, told me he was going to run the Tremont Frozen Turkey 5k with the goal of placing in his age group, I thought "Well, I could run that. How bad could it be?". And when fellow FASTie, Stephanie, posted a picture of the race shirt on Facebook and asked me if I was going to run it too, I said, "Why not... how bad could it be?"

As it turns out, really, really bad.

The morning of the race, it was approximately 147° below zero, with 321 mph winds. When I left my house, it was actually snowing sideways.  I struggled to keep my car on the road as I made the drive to Tremont.  When I finally arrived, I realized that I had no idea where to go.  The race website gave no indication of where the race actually started.  Fortunately, Mike had found out it was supposed to start near the library.

So, I showed up at the library.  I went into the library to ask where race-day registration was.  The librarians looked at me like I had three heads.  They made a phone call to the fitness center, which was the site of  packet pickup the day before, but nobody answered.  Since I had time to spare, I decided to drive over to the fitness center myself.  When I got there, there were lots of other runners looking lost and confused, as the guy at the fitness center explained that race day registration was actually at the "old park district building".  Never having been to Tremont before, this was not helpful information.  He explained that it was across the street from the library.  That's where I had just come from!  So I drove back to the library, finally managed to find the registration, and got signed up for the race.  I even got one of the really cool long-sleeved tech shirts, even though they weren't guaranteed to race-day registrants.

That turkey doesn't look nearly frozen enough. Also, he looks like he's having fun, which is very misleading.

And then I realized I left my Garmin at home.  I didn't have time to go and get it (it was a 40-minute drive each way, and the race was going to start in 30 minutes).  So I had a mild panic attack.  Okay, I had a major panic attack. It's not that I need my Garmin while I run, so much as I need the data to analyze after the run.  How would I know what my splits were?  How would I know the total elevation change of the course?!  How would I know how accurately-measured the course was?!?! I felt so naked and lost without my beloved data-collection device.

You'd probably think, after all of this, that things couldn't possibly get any worse.

You'd be wrong.

I met up with Mike and his wife shortly after I registered, and of all the bad luck, he forgot his Garmin too!  Well, that ruined my plan to run with him and snag his Garmin data afterward.  The race was supposed to start in 15 minutes, so Mike and I decided to go for a warm-up jog down the street. We were encouraged by the fact that the sun had come out.  Maybe it wouldn't be so cold after all...

It's not a good sign when you finish your warm-up jog feeling colder than when you started it.

Bonus points if you can find me in this picture
(Photo - Tremont Park District)

We lined up for the race start, and before we knew it, we were off.  The first half of the race was running directly into the wind. My face was frozen, my eyes were watering, and snot-sicles were forming on my nose.   I'm sure it was a beautiful sight. Mike stuck with me for about the first mile, and then I noticed him drifting further and further behind me.  I was absolutely miserable, trying to fight the wind, but I could see the turnaround point ahead, and I was highly motivated to get to it quickly, so that I could finally have the wind at my back.

And what a relief it was to run with the wind, instead of against it!  Of course, I expended so much energy in the first half of the race trying to battle the wind, that I didn't have much energy left for the last half of the race.  I pushed on as best I could.  When I rounded the final turn, I tried to kick, but I had nothing left.  I crossed the finish in 24:27, a far cry from a PR.  (My current 5k PR is 23:13)  But given the horrendous race conditions, and my complete lack of speedwork during the last 5 months, I was actually really pleased with my performance.  I wasn't sure how many women had finished ahead of me, but I didn't think it was more than about 5.  I was hopeful that I had placed in my age group.

Almost done.  And almost dead.
(Photo - Tremont Park District)

When Mike finished, about 40 seconds behind me, he confessed that it was the first time he had ever wanted to quit a race.  That's how miserable it was.

Mike (right) finishing. Not quitting.  'Atta boy.
(Photo - Tremont Park District)

Somehow, despite the horrible wind, fellow FASTie Stephanie managed to run a PR, which is very impressive.  Just imagine how well she will do in a 5k that doesn't have gale-force winds!

Yay Stephanie!
(Photo - Tremont Park District)

After we had recovered from our efforts, we all moseyed over to the awards presentation ceremony.  I knew Mike really, really, really wanted to get an age group award.  He's never gotten one before, but he's been getting faster as a runner so I thought it was a possibility.

They announced the female award winners first.  I was ecstatic to find out I won my age group.  And before you ask, NO, I wasn't the only person in my age group!

Like a boss.

Then they moved on to the male award winners.  They appeared to be having some trouble with Mike's age group (40-44), and they stumbled over a few names, but ended up skipping giving out awards in that group altogether.  Then they got to the Male 50-54 age group.

"Third place: Mike!"

So, he won an age group award.  It just wasn't in the right age group.  He alerted them to their mistake, and after some hushed discussion among the race coordinators, they ended up telling everyone there was a problem with both the 40-44 and 50-54 age groups, and they would contact the winners later, after they sorted it all out.

Well, damn.

Race results were posted online a couple of days after the race, but the results did not list ages or gender of participants, so there was no way to tell how Mike had placed.  But then, a couple days after that, they posted the age group award results.  They still had Mike in 3rd place in the Male 50-54 group.  But a quick look at the results of the 40-44 group, and it was clear that Mike should be in 3rd place in that group.

A couple of phone calls to the park district later, and Mike was the proud owner of his first age group medal.  And of course, he sent me a picture right away.

It's the right age group and gender and everything! 

"Aren't you glad you didn't quit?" I asked him.

"Yep!" he responded.

It's true what they say: Quitters never win, and winners never quit.

But it's also true what I say: Running in the sub-freezing gale-force wind really sucks, and it's best to just never, ever do it in the first place.

Peace. Love. Train.

Kickin' Ice at Icebreaker 2012

Hard to believe it's already been a year since I ran the Icebreaker Indoor Marathon!  As you may recall, it was the most fun I've ever had running around in circles.

Until now.

I know what you're thinking:

What could possibly be more fun than running around in circles for 26.2 miles???

The answer is simple, my friends: Running around in circles for 26.2 miles as part of a team.

That's right; this year I took on the Icebreaker Marathon Relay as part of Team Frosty Femmes.  My speedy teammates (Kristi, Juliet and Nikki) and I had two goals: run fast and win hardware.  Based on the 2011 relay results, we thought we stood a pretty good chance of placing among the top 3 female teams.  Possibly even winning.  We were hopeful, determined, strong...

And then two other Peoria-area all-female teams were formed, including a team headed up by our very own FAST coach, Maggie.  Her team, Illini Quad, consisted of a bunch of gals who (a) were 11 years younger than the average age of my team and (b) all ran cross-country competitively in college.

Oh crap.

The local running community was buzzing about these two teams who all had talented runners on them and  both wanted to win.  People were even wagering on it.  Who would be victorious?

Suddenly, our goal of placing wasn't enough.  Our new goal was to beat Maggie's team.  In the weeks leading up to the race, every time I or one of my team members ran into Maggie, growls and evil glares were exchanged.

Before we knew it, race day was upon us.  It was time to prove just how awesome we really were.

The relay didn't start until 1pm, so we had a lot of time to sit around, watch the half-marathon races, chat, snack, and exchange more evil glares.  We also made last-minute tweaks to our race strategy.

Strategy, you ask?  How complicated could it be?  Each person runs 6.55 miles, right?

WRONG!

What makes an indoor marathon relay so unique is that team members can switch off as often as they like, in any order they like, to run any distance they like, so long as the team runs 96 laps total.  You might think, given that knowledge, that it would be best to have team members run one lap at a time, as fast as possible.  But, team members have to hand off an ankle bracelet timing device each time they switch off, which wastes valuable seconds.  So there's a delicate balance between how short of intervals team members run and how much time is wasted transferring the ankle bracelet.

Our team's tentative plan was as follows, with the understanding that we could modify this plan at any time during the race, depending how team members were feeling.  Keep in mind that 1 lap is 443 meters, so 4 laps just over 1 mile.

Me: 4 laps
Juliet: 2 laps
Kristi: 3 laps
Juliet: 2 laps
Nikki: 6-8 laps
Lather, rinse, repeat, for 96 laps total.  This plan was designed to allow each of us to run the distance we felt we could run the strongest. For Juliet, that was short bursts of about 800m.  For Nikki, that was 1.5-2 mile segments.  For me and Kristi, it was about 1 mile increments.

Peoria-area runner chicks chillin' before the start of the relay
(L to R: Juliet, Nikki, me, Maggie, Louisa, Kristi, Katie W, Katie O, and Laura)

We ended up sticking to our plan almost exactly.  And let me tell ya, it wasn't easy.  It took a couple of hand-offs before we mastered the fine art of efficient timing chip transfer.  And because there was so much time between a given runner's intervals, it was nearly impossible to stay warm and loose.  It was essentially a speed interval workout with extremely long recovery periods.

I'm running so fast, you can see through me.
I didn't even know that was possible, but the camera doesn't lie!

Maggie's team seemed to be implementing a similar strategy to ours, playing up each individual runners' strengths.  There were times during the race where we seemed to be surging ahead of her team...  and there were even more times during the race where we were falling behind.  We were just no match for a team of 25-year-old former cross-country stars.  But that didn't mean we didn't put up an admirable fight.

Our team placed 3rd in the female division with a time of 3:05:54.  Take a moment to stop and ponder how fast that really is.  That's an average pace of 7:05. For 26.2 miles! This time would have won us 1st place in last year's race.  This year, the field was that much more competitive. Three minutes ahead of us was the 2nd place female team.  And then there was Maggie's team, who ran a blisteringly fast 2:55:25 for the win. Huge congrats to them - what an outstanding performance! And the other Peoria-area team, The FASTies, also ran strong and broke the 4:30 marathon barrier.  Way to go!

It's amazing what four people can accomplish when they work together!

But that's not all, folks.  I served a dual purpose this weekend.  Not only was I a runner, but I was also a videographer.  As a favor to the race director, I shot video all weekend long (except when I was running) and created a promotional video. So now, I present to you my very first video race report!

If, after watching that, you have any doubt remaining about how cool the indoor marathon experience is (both literally and figuratively), then I have not done my job as a blogger or film producer.  You should fire me.  Except that I don't work for you, so you can't. Ha!

And the good news, for all of you wanna-be indoor marathoners, is that you don't have to wait until next January to try this.  There is a new event coming this July 28 called Heatbreaker, and as you may have surmised from the name, it is great a way to escape the mid-summer heat.  This event is a half-marathon event only...  but never fear, you marathon addicts!  There are four half-marathons spread out over the course of one day (spaced three hours apart), and runners can choose to run one, two, three or all four races.  FOUR half-marathons!  Can you imagine?  For those of you who are not mathematically inclined, that's a total of 52.4 miles.  In one day!

Now, I know you're thinking that I'm the sort of person who is just crazy enough to run four half-marathons in one day.  I can assure you, I'm not that crazy... yet.  But I have never been one to pass up a good challenge, so I will be running the Two-Alarm Challenge at Heatbreaker, which is back-to-back half-marathons.  Some have argued that that's the same as running a full marathon.  I beg to differ.  One would not normally sit down and relax for 45 minutes in the middle of a full marathon.  So, as you can see, it's totally different from a full marathon.

And, as usual, I will not be doing this alone.  Fellow Goofy Challenger, Kristi, is also on board for the Two-Alarm Challenge.  Let's see how many other people I can coerce...  er, I mean, encourage to do one of these events!  Milwaukee will never know what hit it.  Who's with me???

Peace. Love. Train.

Walt Disney World Marathon Weekend: Kristi & Evily's Goofy Adventure

When I first started writing this race report, I figured I'd write it like any other race report...  long and detailed. But the more I thought about it, the less appropriate it felt for an event like the Walt Disney World Marathon Weekend.  And so, instead of lengthy prose, I give you...  *drum roll*... a song!  Because "It's a Small World" is far too annoying of a song (sorry, Disney), these lyrics are sung to the Gilligan's Island theme song (which is marginally less annoying).

*begin music*

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale

a tale of hell and heaven

that started from Midway Airport

aboard this 737

There was a tall blonde runner chick

and a short brunette for sure.

They were headed down to Disney World

For a race-running tour...

a race-running tour!

The Goofy Challenge was their quest

They hoped they would come through

They were going to run 13.1

plus 26.2!

The race expo was super-huge

and they wandered aimlessly

They bought t-shirts to brag about

their accomplishment-to-be.

After traveling all day they wanted some food

So they hopped on a pontoon boat

They set sail for Downtown Disney

on a 30-minute float...

a 30 minute float.

The House of Blues had yummy food

They ate and ate and ate.

But they had to wake at 2:30am,

so they couldn't stay up late.

They took a bus to the half-marathon start

It was a long and early ride

Then they walked a mile to Corral D

where they waited side-by-side.

The wheelchairs started at 5:30

then Corral A, then B and then C.

Finally it was time for "Da best" corral

to start its 13.1-mile journey...

13.1-mile journey.

The path was narrow, the runners were many;

They couldn't get ahead.

So they went with the flow and saved their legs

for the next day's journey of dread.

They reached the finish line intact

They still felt pretty good

They both received a Donald medal

just like they knew they would.

They spent the rest of the day at the pool

trying to relax

Then they went back to House of Blues

and carb-loaded to the max.

At 7:30 they went to bed

and fell fast asleep

But they still were quite unhappy

When the 2:30 alarm started to beep.

They donned their tutus and their Bad Axe Pigeon shirts

and headed back to Corral D

The port-a-potty lines weren't as long

So they had lots of time to pee.

The marathon began on time

They ran and ran and ran

through Epcot and Magic Kingdom

and then the pain began...

and then the pain began.

The miles got longer, their feet were sore

The sun was getting hot.

They took fun and silly photo breaks

every chance they got.

Lots of people noticed their shirts

Some asked "What's Bad Axe Pigeon?"

Other people recognized the towns

and yelled "Yeah Michigan!"

In Animal Kingdom they searched for a goat

but instead they found a sheep.

They also found a tiny owl

they really wanted to keep.

They nearly died at Mile 18

and have the picture to prove it.

At Mile 21, the green Army man

told them to "Move it! Move it!"

They hobbled as the pain grew worse

There were blisters everywhere

They dreamed of crossing the finish line

and sitting in a chair.

At Mile 26 their spirits soared

with the sounds of a gospel choir

The finish line was in sight

two more medals they would acquire!

They ran toward the finish line

shuffling with all their might

They crossed the finish victoriously

A stinky, proud, tired rainbow sight.

Two more medals they did collect

for a grand total of three

They weighed at least 2 tons apiece

They were very hard to carry!

The blonde and brunette runner chicks

were really rather proud

But the pain was just too intense

"Never again!" they both vowed.

Peace. Love. Train.