I'll be signing autographs this weekend...

...if anyone wants one.

*crickets chirping*

Okay. Fine. Suit yourselves. But when I finally get my Nike sponsorship and move to Oregon to train with the big dogs, you'll all be sorry you missed your chance!

*readers fall out of their chairs with laughter*

Hmph.

Alright, alright, so I'm not exactly a world-famous celebrity like, say, Angelina Jolie or Bob Ross (RIP). But I did make the local newspaper this morning! And I'm on their website too. That's gotta count for something, right? Here's the article, which I would like to emphasize is on the FRONT page of the sports section. If that's not fame, I don't know what is. I'd also like to point out that the very first words of the article happen to be my name.

So, maybe I am on my way to achieving a level fame that rivals Bob Ross'. And maybe you really do want an autograph. It's okay to admit it. Really.

Although, the truth is that the ones who are truly famous are our coaches. They are the ones that make this group happen and push us beyond what we ever thought we could achieve. Never in my wildest dreams would I have done a workout like the one we did last night without the expert guidance (*ahem* torture?) of the FAST coaches.

This workout was - and there's really no other way to put it - evil. Coach Brad has gone so far as to name this workout "The FAST", implying that this workout will become a sort of signature workout for us. This terrifies me to my very core.

I'd like to point out that it was last night that the newspaper photographer came to shoot our group (*pew pew pew!*). And boy did he pick a good one. He easily took a couple hundred photos of us... and only six made it on the website. In those six photos, we looked pretty good (i.e. no puking, no pained grimaces, etc). My theory is that in all the other 194 photos, we looked like death. You will soon understand why when I describe our workout.

Here's the rundown: 1 mile warmup, 2-mile tempo run on track, 1 Hill of Death loop, 2 mile tempo run on track, collapse in a heap on track.

Yes. That's right. The track and the Hill of Death all in the same workout. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

I aimed to keep my tempo runs at about a 9:00 pace. It was definitely challenging. The first two miles averaged 8:56. The Hill of Death was brutal. The second two miles averaged 8:48. I was pleased with that. For the final lap of the second two miles, I wasn't sure I would be able to hold onto my pace - I was really tired. But both coaches started running with me. They were crowding around me on the track, with Maggie beside me and Brad behind me. I could see fellow FASTie Cathy ahead of me on the track and I was slowly gaining on her. Coach Brad told me to reel her in. About halfway through the lap, I passed her. I thought I was golden. But in the last 50 yards I heard some commotion behind me and I looked back to find that Cathy had caught back up to me. Not wanting to be outdone, I shifted gears and sprinted toward the finish, filled with a sense of accomplishment. And also a sense of nausea.

And then I collapsed.



Okay, not really. I wanted to collapse. But I managed to remain upright long enough to walk a cooldown lap. To my fellow FASTies who also completed "The FAST" last night, I must give you all big high fives, because that was not easy. Not that FAST ever is easy... but this particular workout was in a league of its own.

Kind of like me. And Bob Ross.

Peace. Love. Train.